How to Write an Online Dating Profile that Attracts Attention

 Over the past three or four years, I’ve probably read more than 10,000 profiles of men and women looking for dates through the Internet. Most were pretty boring. Many were frustrating. A very select few brought a smile to my face. Three I still remember, and talk about, today.

And of those 10,000 profiles, only dozen actually intrigued me enough to make the first move, which online is usually some sort of free, generic ‘flirt’ or ‘wink’ to get the respondent’s attention. So what are the worst offenders when it comes to writing an Internet dating profile? Let’s jump right in to number one:

1. “I’m the One Your Mother Warned You About” Why this is one of the most overused phrases in online dating?! I cannot share how exasperated I get when I read these words – all I want to do is roll my eyes and yell at the screen, “Yeah, and the seventeen other guys before you!” I’ve been known to even block people whose profiles string together these eight words. Obviously, it irks me.

Now, perhaps this line, in the users mind, anyway, serves a purpose. It can tell a potential suitor that the person whose profile they are reading is ‘dangerous’ and ‘mysterious’, without actually coming out and saying it. But I think there are a million more inventive ways of saying the same thing, without saying the same thing as everybody else. And when it comes down to it, do I really want to get to know someone who my parents would have warned me about? Considering, of course, that my father was an Italian biker who looked remotely like Santa Claus and a homeless man wrapped into one.

No, I don’t think so.

2. “I Might Be The One You’re Looking For” You might be the one I’m looking for, this is very true. But by putting this in your profile (or using it as your introduction line), doesn’t tell me, or any other potential suitor, anything new.

What this line does tell me, however, is that the profiler didn’t do a lot of thinking about how they wanted to present themselves. I would rather know something concrete about the profiler, such as what gets their eyes twinkling or whom they emulate on a daily basis. Telling me that SOMEONE MAY be SOMETHING to me is hard to wrap my head around, and will be for a stranger perusing profiles too.

 3. Wasting Space (To Have Enough Words in the Profile To Post) Most online dating sites require a certain number of characters or words posted in a profile in order for the rest of the users to view it. Unfortunately, many people don’t bother to fill the space they have with anything useful to the reader.

“Don't know what to say at this moment” was the entire written profile of a 31-year-old gentleman in Toronto who instant messaged me with a “hello” on a well-known dating site. Another 24-year-old male in Montreal’s profile says, “Not sure what to say here really. I am just looking around.”

Not taking the time to actually write something worth reading is one of the worst mistakes you can make when writing your online dating profile. Just a little bit of attention to your profile can garner huge results - no attention guarantees no responses.

4. Not Using Proper Grammar, Spelling or Punctuation in Your Profile Now, this final entry may be more of a personal pet peeve than of a general statement. Perhaps there are people who peruse the online want ads that don’t mind glaring grammatical errors, a profile written all in caps or misplaced punctuation. When I, however (and many of the friends I made through online contact) see a glaring error, I cringe. A statement such as as, “I'M A HETERALSEXUAL MALE” from a 38 year-old-male in Cranbrook, B.C. is an immediate turn-off. Maybe I’m a bit highbrow, but any potential partner of mine should be able to at least use a spell checker.